Kaya (deessedelune) wrote in ir_relevant,

Olsens For Governor

For Immediate Release, July 23, 2003
Contact: Robert Thorne, 213-555-0000, rthorne@olsenforgovs.com

“Mary-Kate and Ashley For Governor” – Twin Olsen Moguls Announce Bid For Governor

(Los Angeles, CA) “There is just, like, no one better.” With the impending finalization of California Governor Gray Davis’ recall, media moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have announced today that they will join the pool of governor wannabes.

“We just feel that we can totally contribute far more than the other candidates,” said Mary-Kate, referring to the elite club that includes Terminator action star Ah-nuld Schwarzenegger, Congressman Darrell Issa (R-CA) and former LA mayor Richard Riordan. “For sure,” Ashley concurred. “I mean, we’re worth $40 million dollars each and climbing. Who else would be better qualified to pay off the deficit?”

When questioned as to how they will address the issue of their being too young to be co-governors, a first in American history, Mary Kate shrugged. “We’ve always, like, been young for people of our status. We’re teenage multimillionaires..duh. If we can afford one of those smaller states off before being legal enough to drink, then surely something like being a governor won’t be, like, a big deal.”

Ashley not only agreed with her sister, but she also flagged a bigger possibility when they succeed in this election. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll run for president, too.”

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